Law Career Development Graduate Fellow
It wasn’t until about the fifth time entering in my ID and file number into the search box that the reality of the situation hit me. I had not passed the July California Bar Exam. Like Rocky Balboa, I needed someone to help open my eyes so I can finish this fight, and not let myself stay down. I know I am not alone in this fight, so I would like to share with all of you some things I believe will really make a difference on our next bar exam attempt.
In the months after taking the test, I was told by friends, family, and even complete strangers that I happened to talk to, that they were all sure that I had nailed the exam and they were not worried about my abilities. In the couple of weeks leading up to the results, I started to believe them, started to really feel confident, and was looking forward to moving forward with my career and my life as a lawyer. But my name was not on the list, and that realization hit me like a bullet to my chest. Before I had even received my scores, I felt my future vanish, my world come undone, and was left feeling completely destroyed by what I saw as the biggest failure in my entire life. I got up from my computer, turned off my phone, and tried to figure out what I was going to do with myself.
This was my reaction. I doubt I am atypical. I know from many friends and colleagues that they went through something similar, and the Law Career Development office sees its fair share of disappointed, devastated graduates who find themselves having to retake the test in February. The truth, it seems, is that it is too easy to spiral down into a depression over not passing.
Lucky for me, I got out of that trap quickly. After taking a day to let myself feel devastated, I spent the next day picking myself up and talking to people I knew would get my head back on straight. Here is what I learned.
- I am sure you have all heard this before, but we are not the first people to fail the bar exam. California is known for having one of the hardest bar exams in the country, with a low pass rate that has been dropping. Add to this that bar results across the nation have dropped and you start to wonder how people can become lawyers these days. But the truth is that a lot of lawyers fail their first, and even their second, attempts. And a lot of them still go on to become great lawyers, policy makers, and even judges despite not having passed the bar on their first attempt. While this may not be a huge comfort, the fact is that not passing the bar the first time isn’t a scarlet letter, black spot, or albatross around your neck that you have to carry with you the rest of your life. You may even be able to turn it into a success, like David Paterson, former governor of New York, who called for exam accommodation reforms, or even GGU’s own adjunct professor Rosemary La Puma who wrote a book helping law students prepare for the exam. By not passing, you’re in good company.
- I am finding is that failing the bar can provide an amazing learning experience. From my perspective, I have to take a serious look at what I did well on, how I prepared for that, and how I can apply those lessons to the rest of the material. I still have the foundation left over from July, so now my job is to improve upon it instead of just starting at square one. I also am not going to slack just because I can recall some of what I learned. Lee Burgess of Girl’s Guide to Law School agrees that you need to commit just as much, or more, to the second attempt as you did on the first. It is important for us to look at what we need improvement on based on our individual scores and how we learn. To help in this process, check in with Bar Services. They can help you create a do-able plan to re-approach the Bar.
- There are also tons of resources out there to help us get back on our feet, emotionally. For example, The Bar Exam Toolbox has tons of free articles and words of wisdom to check out. My personal favorite is an article by Brian Hahn, talking about the five things he did differently the second time around taking the Bar.
- The day after my self-imposed isolation, I went out with some friends to celebrate their success. I was nervous they would all judge me for not having passed the bar, worried that I had somehow let them down. Instead, I was greeted with warm smiles, a few hugs, and a general outpouring of love and respect that I had not been prepared for. Every one of them had wanted me to pass, sure, but they were all still confident that I was going to nail it the second time. They didn’t need a test to tell them how smart and capable I am, it was all in my head. Each of them offered to help me ace the test the second time around, sharing with me their strategies that worked for them, and offering me whatever support I needed. It felt good to be out with them, and helped me remember that I was not in this effort alone. Though I have to take this test again, it is not the end of the world, only a minor detail. The legal world will still be there, and I will still be able to find work, keep my networks, and move forward with my life and my career. Maybe not passing the bar wasn’t so bad after all.
- Pass or fail, please take some time to visit us here in Law Career Development. Not only do we have a wealth of tools and resources for you to learn from, but every person in the office is committed to your success. Maybe your results were not ideal, but you are free to schedule an appointment with us to help get your employment plan nailed down. You always have a support team in LCD, and we look forward to helping coach you toward success.
