Using Stories to Demonstrate Your Identity

By Alexander Hoyt-Heydon
Law Career Development Graduate Fellow
 
This past weekend, I was invited to a networking event by a friend whom I had helped edit his latest book. The event was to be held at one of the hotels in Las Vegas, and I admit I was curious what kind of networking would go on in such a place, surrounded by gambling, alcohol, and every kind of distraction known to man. As it turns out, what I had thought would be one big party full of people from all walks of life was in reality a conference discussing techniques and ideas behind the secrets of social networking. Suddenly the nondisclosure agreement I signed when I walked in made sense.

I was right on one part: people from all walks of life, various cultures, professions, and viewpoints were all in attendance. However, with the exception of myself and a handful others who were invited by friends, almost everyone there was operating on a much higher level of success. Leaders of industries were there, men and women who have influential positions in almost every business, and all of them with the shared mindset on how better to network and interact with the world around them. The list of speakers was rather impressive, and I want to share one of the most important techniques I learned that weekend: the power of storytelling to build your career.


I bet that everyone has had at least some moment where a story spoke to them, and they just could not tear themselves away. A good story is one that engages its audience, draws them in, and lets them emotionally invest in the lives and actions of its characters. To illustrate this, I assume that everyone has spent a good part of their life on Netflix, binge watching a show just to find out what happens next. Or maybe you’ve experienced a night out with friends where the hours seem to fly by as you trade stories with one and other of the wild adventures you had with them. Or it could have been your favorite book, compelling you to turn the page, not wanting to put it down until you had finished. 

Beyond its entertainment value, storytelling is a powerful tool to build a network and get a job. And with a working resume, you have the perfect foundation for creating a number of stories to share with potential employers when meeting them at a networking event, informational interview, or formal interview. While it may sound a bit overwhelming to build a story for every item on your resume list, the truth is that it doesn’t take much work at all. You’ve been told time and time again that you have to be ready to discuss everything found on your resume. Make that process easier and more efficient by lumping facts from your resume into stories about yourself that you are proud to convey. Imagine what messages about yourself you want to convey and shape stories around those themes: a story that shows you are passionate about both the kind of work and specific workplaces to which you are interested in applying;  one that shows you are resourceful; one for being adaptable to the workplace in which you are interested; one that show you a great team worker; one for how you overcome obstacles (a great way to re-frame the common question, "Tell me about your weakness."); one that shows you have proven experience working with the similar clientele as does your desired workplace; one for what makes you know you can hit the ground running and succeed at the specific job you are applying to. Around each theme, build a simple story integrating elements from your resume that captivates your audience and lets them feel a part of your world. All it takes is three easy steps.

1. Step one, start at the beginning.
   Ok, so this may seem a little obvious, but you need to start by thinking of a topic you’ll want to talk about. This doesn’t have to be long or complicated, but a simple statement that will introduce your story with a feeling and an experience or preference. Take a look at your resume, think about a something that happened at that job that illustrates a trait you want to emphasize, and think of how you want to lead that story. Most employers will only ask you to tell them about the job, normally only asking “So tell me about X.” All you have to do is make a simple opening from there. Some examples are:
   “The most influential person I met there was…”
   “The most exciting event at X was….”
   “I remember when I was most in charge at X…”
   “One of the best learning experiences at X was…”
   I think you get the idea, just a simple opener that sets up the story to come. Next, you will have to explain WHY this story is important.
   
   
2. Step two, leading the listener’s emotions when telling your story.
   Believe it or not, one of the biggest mistakes the speakers at the conference warned of again and again when trying to tell a story is when the storyteller becomes too technical in their explanation. A lot of the time, especially if the storyteller is passionate about their work, the story can become too burdened with the nuts and bolts of what happened, causing any listener not familiar with the work or process to become bored and tune out. Even for people who know a lot about the process, it can still become a boring conversation as they would have had to hear about it all day. Instead, to really engage with the listener you need to avoid talking about the story logically, but present it as an experience by showing what emotions is evoked in you. Don’t tell the listener how they are supposed to feel about the story, they weren’t there. Demonstrate to them the emotions that you felt and let them enjoy the ride.
   
   Leading the listener’s emotions is perhaps the largest part of the story. If they are not engaged in what they are hearing, if they have no way to relate to you in your story, then you will quickly lose their interest. Yet if you are able to capture their emotions in that story then you can take the opportunity to demonstrate different parts of yourself and your abilities while you have their undivided attention. Instead of them thinking about the laundry they have to do when they get home, they will be unconsciously noticing the different aspects of your identity that would fit perfectly into their firm. Every person has an identity, and everything you do, say, or wear adds new pieces to the puzzle that the listener makes up about your in their mind. People will unconsciously make assumptions about who you are, what you have achieved, your social status, you name it, based on everything you do and say. Knowing that most people, including yourself, are not conscious of these assumptions, you must make an effort into deciding which puzzle pieces get created in the mind of the person you are talking to and control the development of your identity in their mind. This can be an amazing opportunity to take some of the qualities that the employer looks for (you did your research on them before hand, right?) and weave them into your story.
   
   Let me give you an example of a very common interview question: explaining a time you were met with a challenge at work and how did you overcome it. A basic answer would be to say something like “I had to deal with an uncooperative witness, and so I adapted my line of questioning to get the information I was looking for out of them.” However this answer does not tell the interviewer much about yourself and your identity other than you can adapt your questions. It also is very technical, and doesn’t evoke a lot of emotions. Instead, find a quality that the employer, or their company, is looking for and create a story around that. Tell the employer how you took charge of the situation, demonstrating leadership; how you empathized with the witness, showing compassion; or how you maneuvered around the witness’s resistance, showing ingenuity. It’s really very simple when you get down to it: connect and draw the listener in on an emotional level, and then use those emotions to give them little glimpses into your identity, demonstrating that you have the skills and abilities that they are looking for. All that’s left after that is to bring it to a close.
   
   
3. Step three, end your story.
   All good stories have an ending, so any story you tell should as well. Not only will a solid ending give the listener the feeling that it is their turn to speak, but it can also promote further conversation as they share a story of their own. Much like your opening, this does not have to be that long or complicated, just a small example that reminds the listener why you were telling that story in the first place. This can even be as simple as saying “and that’s why the experience at X was so important to me.” It does not have to be much, just enough to tell the person that the story is finished and avoid leaving them hanging.

I hope these little tricks will be enough to get you started. Why not try this out on your friends next time you meet up with them? Practice some of these stories with them and watch their reactions. Or, even better, why not make an appointment with Law Career Development and run those stories by us? We would be happy as always to give you the feedback and insight necessary to really nail your stories down. And preparing some stories to use in mock interviews is a great way to test this technique.